I was going to post today about a sexy bathtub adventure with Fiona I had recently, but upon speaking with my great friend and colleague Nadia Davino not too long ago, the topic of client screening came up and inspired this post. Sexy bath post to follow suite in a few days... don't worry :)
I can't tell you how many times a gentleman will ask for an appointment with me, only to have an over exaggerated 'freak-out' when I ask for his screening details. (We are of course talking about men who do not have references.) I have even had some men give me one reference, unable to provide a second one, and get angry when I turn the appointment down. I feel like today is a good day to explain why this is so necessary, and provide examples of why I do what I do.
Let me first say this; I completely understand why many men are hesitant to give this information, I really do. I completely understand the need for discretion and not wanting to give someone you don't know 'extortion power' over you. We ladies have the exact same fears and worries, and we constantly wonder why a man would put his penis in a stranger, but not his trust? Seems like the most precious male body part to put at risk considering the circumstances.
For more anonymity, the best route is to use references. In order to gain a reference though, you must usually give out your information to someone. It's best to do your research, find a trustworthy provider (based off reviews, time online, verified ads) and give your screening info to them so that you can use that person as a reference to see other escorts in the future. Many escorts only require one reference, but I require two and with good reason.
If you have ever read my tER reviews, you would see that the one thing they all have in common (aside form all being really great and giving me scores of 8, 9& 10s) is that men always mention my screening process as being difficult or strict. I have been on many sites of providers and have actually taken my screening process from about four other girls. I know I am not the only one with this process, and I have even taken my personal employment screening details from INDYS, a site tons of escorts use... I know there are other high end escorts doing this, so I am always surprised when a man says my process is more strict than most girls. The only explanation I can think of is that said male is used to lower quality escorts or women who just haven't had their safety threatened yet.
One time I saw a client who is known on many sites as ddave1939. He gave me two references and his p411 account so I could check his Okays from other girls. I wrote to two of the women asking for reference information and they never responded.
There are a couple of questions I MUST have the answer to from references. Most girls will write "he is safe" and send no further details. Simply being 'safe' is not enough for me. Most guys pass these checks, but some do not. One reference might say he was dirty/smelly, and another might say he was fine. If both say the same thing then I get a true idea of what I am in for if I agree to an appointment.
So back to the gentleman before of which I was speaking, 'Dave'. I never heard from the girls personally but I assumed since he had several Okays on p411, that he must be okay to see, so I let him book. First appointment with him was awesome, but when he came to his second appointment he sexually assaulted me by barebacking me without my permission. He asked me to Okay him on p411 and I said no, and told p411 about the situation. A couple months later he was angry about this still, and posted negatively about me on a site where I am well known; telling people I was mentally unstable and that he had seen me several times (instead of only 2) and that my craziness is why he no longer visited. He also accused me of writing a positive review of myself (which is stupid because I have incredible reviews going back almost 5 years on several sites... I have no need to write myself one).
I had to inform p411 of him taking retribution on me publicly, and they revoked his account. I also destroyed any future credibility with women on the site Indys for him, so he is pretty much stuck to streetwalkers and women that don't know better from Backpages. That being said, I let myself down by not rejecting him when I never heard back from his references. Many girls don't reply to other escorts, so thats why I require two references; in case one doesn't reply. There are many escorts who have questionable safety practices regarding condoms, or have drug problems, who I will absolutely not accept as a reference... and they get used all the time. If a man has seen many providers (more than 3) and still can't cough up two references, I get the feeling it may be because he did something that would warrant those providers not to have anything nice to say and I reject the appointment.
When it comes to personal employment and verification, things get a lot rougher. Again, totally understand why someone would never want to give that info, but then that person is just not for me.
The more info you have about you online, the less personal information I will need. How can I believe he actually works there and is not a cop instead, faking references? I can't.
Guys try to send me a LinkedIn all the time, but linkedin alone is never enough. They are so easy to fake! I know because mine is fake as hell so that family thinks I do something else for a living.
Think cops wont go through the trouble of faking credentials to bust someone? Think again. There are tons of forums by cops for cops all about how to best pull off busting girls (and guys). I have had run ins with police twice which both resulted unsuccessfully for them, but ever since the second time I beefed up my screening requirements.
We all in the hobby must accept some level of risk and it is up to each of us to research risks and determine for our selves how much risk each is willing to accept. I am not willing to accept much risk. You make yourself seem like you are up to no good when you want total anonymity, and whether that is true or not (because hey, it probably isn't true) it's not a risk I am willing to take, and I am not willing to risk the safety of past clients by seeing someone who could be out to harm me in one way or another.