Should You Book an Escort?

Before you even start looking for a companion to start spending time with, there's one step you must take before you begin researching the mountain of information that is 'how to' find a provider or book a companion; and that is 'should you'?

You might be thinking, 'well I really want to have sex, so heck yeah', and if that's your first thought, then it would probably be a good indicator that you are not ready to pay for company. Before you even begin to look for someone, there are a few hard questions you need to ask yourself.

Are you emotionally mature enough for an intimate transactional arrangement?

For companions, this is first and foremost a business. I have seen it many times, and I am sure I will continue to for as long as I am an escort - oftentimes, men think casual sex with only the transactional string attached sounds great; until they develop feelings they initially didn't set out with. The best escort will be able to curate an experience for you that feels very genuine; she may even refer to you as friends. Ask yourself if you could handle taking on the emotional toll of being interested in someone who is only interested in your business?

I once had a suitor who visited me multiple times a week. I could tell he was becoming emotionally invested, and he was beginning to make little comments here and there to make it obvious. He never confessed to loving me or anything like that, but given enough time, I think he would have. Over time, he wanted to spend more and more time together but didn't want to increase what he was spending. At first, I allowed the free dinner date or the occasional trip to a local place because he was a long-time customer, but eventually, I had to fire him as a client. He wanted to date me, but I didn't want to date him. For one, he was married. Secondly, he was technically a cheater (if he would do it to his wife, why not to me down the road), and lastly, this was my business - not a charity. This ended up really upsetting him and he resorted to some very ugly actions on his part that have since blackballed him from easily being able to see other escorts in the area. All because of some emotional turmoil leading to an immature lapse in judgment.

The last thing you should want for yourself is to be hurting emotionally when booking a companion should be fun and freeing. Make sure you are emotionally ready and capable of keeping things separate to maximize your fun.

Do you have a plan for discretion? You expect discretion from your companion, but what steps will you take to ensure that you are safe at home from being found out? Do you have good opportunities and windows of time to meet without getting in trouble at home? Will it be an issue if chunks of your finances seem to disappear here and there? Do you have a good, thought out, and reasonable excuse for what you are doing if you *do* get caught? These are the things you should think about ahead of time so that you don't caught in the moment with your pants down, so to speak.

I have had clients tell their wives they were going to go window shopping at Home Depot - and that excuse worked for them because of their personality: home improvement enthusiasts who have spent hours in hardware stores. But would that be believable to the wife of a man who could barely spell hammer, let alone life one?

Some clients don't have combined finances with their significant others and can spend freely, with no worries. Another had to take out $20 and $40 cashback every time he went to the grocery store until he had enough saved so as not to raise suspicion.

When you are taking care of being discreet at home, you are also helping your companion stay safe from the ire of a scorned wife or lover. I'm sure it doesn't need to be said that keeping things digitally private is a MUST as well. (Do you need a separate phone, password for your computer, turn off 'Find my iPhone', etc?)

Have you thought about the actual ethics of seeing a companion? There's a moral aspect to booking an escort, and that morality is based on the morays of our society. Right now, seeing an escort may be illegal based on services and the location you live. But more than that, it could be unethical depending on your specific situation. If you are married, as most men seeking companionship are, you need to take a long hard look at whether or not you can live with the consequences of betraying your marriage if you are found out. Can you live with yourself? Can you live with whoever may find out siding with your partner?

It doesn't matter if you are married to the meanest bitch on the planet earth; when you break your marriage vows (which are a contract), you are in the wrong. It's not your companion's place to judge you, but society will, and that's a judgment you have to both acknowledge and be comfortable with.

The ethics of companionship reach much deeper than this, and we could spend all day down a hole of how ethical or unethical it may be to book at massage parlors, independent escorts, or with survival sex workers - but there's not enough time for me to write about that today. The ethics you should concern yourself with most as a client are the ones that relate to you and your personal life at home. You can branch into other areas as you go.

Can you follow rules? This is the most simple. Not too much to write here. Each companion has her own set of rules, and you may not find out about all of them until you are right in the middle of the session. This is closely aligned with being mature enough to see a companion.

Let's say you arrive at a booking and you've set the money down. It has been safely put away, and your companion asks you to take a shower. You tell her you showered before you left or even earlier that day. Are you upset because this may shave a couple of minutes off of your time with her? If the answer is yes, then you can't follow the rules, and you shouldn't book. Some companions ask *every* client they meet to take a shower, and some companions play it by ear. Others may never ask someone to take a shower. Each companion is a different experience, and if you push back, you will create resentment and hinder your own booking. Wouldn't you rather her know for a FACT that you are clean (because you showered there) and have her be much more enthusiastic about providing your service than secretly resenting you and providing a service that isn't as stellar? (Or worse, asking you to leave?)

That's just one very specific example of a rule. Some companions have few rules, and some seem to have a rule for everything. That's the beauty and joy that make every escort unique and a fun challenge. The onus is on you to do as much respectful research as you can but to also be mature enough to go with the flow and see where a session takes you.

Lastly, have you identified what you want out of a session? To be completely fair, companionship is really not for the man looking for 60 minutes of non-stop action from start to finish. That man is looking for a hole, or looking to use a woman's body to masturbate with. Ask yourself what you want from a session, but be realistic. You might think you can cum twice in an hour, and maybe you can, but *should* you? Especially when you are meeting someone for the first time?

There's nothing wrong with that if your provider allows it, but consider treating your companion like an actual human and not like a sex robot. The more you get to know your provider, the more fun you can have on subsequent visits. I know that when I connect with a gentleman who has some conversation with me, I'm much happier and warmer to him and more likely to go above and beyond the call of duty to get to the finish line after the first big O. If you're the kind of gentleman who is just collecting notch posts and doesn't want to book the same woman more than once, that is fine too, but you have to live with that fact that you'll never get the same time of warmth or reception that the guys who actually spend 10 minutes of their time talking with us gets.

Are you educated about sexual health?

A shocking number of men are completely uneducated about sexual health and STDs. Do your research based on what services you will be seeking. If you were to contract an STI while seeing a sex worker (an anomaly, but it does happen) what would you do? How would you inform your significant other?

You might think your 'clean' and that there's nothing to worry about, but are you sure? How do you really know? Most STI's don't have symptoms and can be left untreated for years. If you picked up something from a casual hookup on Tinder and then give it to an escort a week later, you can bet your bottom dollar you will be blacklisted from hell to back - unable to see the majority of companions in the industry. When was the last time you had a test? I am not talking about that swab you get when you see your GP, I am talking about the full battery of tests. Can you even talk about something like this with your family doctor, or do you need to find a separate doctor that you only go to for this sort of thing? It's something you need to think about before you start seeing companions.

If you don't plan on kissing, and you will be wearing a condom for oral and full service, you may not have much to worry about. That doesn't appeal to many men though. Let's be honest, the standard in the industry is French kissing and unsafe oral. Most of the time escorts only draw the line at covered full service. You can get almost every STI from kissing and oral that you can get from unprotected sex. If you are unaware of this or don't care, you really are not mature enough to be booking with companions.

Companions are statistically more likely to be STI free than non-sex workers, and that is because intimacy is our bread and butter. We have a financial incentive to stay tested and treated on a regular basis. One slip and we can not only lose a significant amount of income, but face irreparable damage to our name. It's my number one priority not to just protect myself, but to protect you, and by extension, your wife - however I can only be as safe as you allow me to be. If you are uneducated about sexual health and untested, or dont test every couple of months, you are putting several livelihoods in danger.

So you see, before you even look for someone, there is a lot of thought that needs to go into whether or not YOU are ready to even be looking. Keep these things in mind. What is a waste of time for us, is a waste of money for you.